Sudden Violence and Aural Pleasures

Friday, June 26, 2009

I set out with intents to make this sort of a ranty post about certain aspects of my country's society, but I think I'll save that for a time when I'm less tired.

Last night I dreamt that I was in an apartment complex with my boyfriend. We were upstairs and in a kitchen that had a window view of the rest of this complex. The apartment was situated on the top of a steep hill with lots of concrete stairs leading up to its summit. Inside the apartment he and I were arguing about something. He hadn't told me about someone, some event, he had hidden something from me and I remember feeling betrayed and disgusted. I don't remember what it was though. So I look out the window and can see this girl around my age, with a leg on either railing on the concrete stairs, like skiing/climbing up towards our apartment. She wants to get inside, she wants something of mine, she's jealous/envious, she means me harm and I feel so much negativity towards her. I don't know who she is, but my boyfriend does. He does not care how I feel towards her and treats her presence as no big deal rather than the intrusion she represents. I go outside, I assume to confront her, when she pulls out a gun and shoots me in the head. I fall to the ground, but I do not die even though the bullet went through my head. I wake up and get back up incredibly pissed off. I can't really remember how that all ends, but I remember all the negative emotions I went through as it happened. I felt so betrayed and angry and I'm not even sure entirely what it was about.

An interesting note, however, is that it is now the second violent dream I've had within the past few nights and a second of which that the violence includes head trauma. The first one involved a friend of my sister's getting his head bashed in with a shovel in his sleep by a female dwarf. While it certainly sounds comical, the mental image was most assuredly not.

I'm left to contemplate on the meaning of these dreams. Considering the recurrent theme of violence, anger, and violated trusts it makes me think that I should be wary of the people in my life. I've had themes in my dreams before come back and make sense later. Hopefully this isn't one of them, and I'm certainly not jumping to conclusions, but I'm certainly going to keep my eyes peeled for any warning signs. Perhaps they mean nothing. Who knows. I wonder what tonight will bring me...

Elsewhere in life, I'm currently undertaking a project for a friend/co-worker of mine of compiling recipes of her mother's who passed recently. There are a lot of recipes to say the least :). It feels a bit overwhelming at the moment considering the sheer volume of work that is going to be involved and the pressure I feel to do this properly and in a creative way that is pleasing to my co-worker. I've gotten them all sorted into their various categories, as cook books often are, but I'm still pondering what sort of creative direction it should take. One step at a time I suppose.

...............

Musically I'm really excited over the release of Regina Spektor's new album. I don't yet have the cash to buy it, and I don't want to pirate it, so it might be a bit before such a luxury is feasible. I've heard 3 songs off the album, "Laughing With", "Eet", and "Blue Lips", and I really enjoy all of them. "Eet" is probably the most pop and radio/mainstreamm friendly of the three, but they're all fabulous and very much Regina's unique style. I'm also pleased about Manson's album "The High End of Low." EMDM was rather disappointing for me, but the new songs I've heard sound promising. It seems that more of his old self is back which is a refreshing change for the better I feel. His is another album that I'm planning on purchasing. And Placebo too of course :).

Oh, and a newer singer/songwriter that I'm really liking right now is Diane Birch. She's got a really unique voice and her songs and vocal stylings remind me a lot more of older 60's folk singers in a way - but still different :).



Well, I think that should do it for this evening. Until next time...

~♥~

Voodoo Queen

Thursday, May 21, 2009

Oh my goodness did I have some strange dreams last night.

#1:
My boyfriend and I are living in a house with a basement. We get into some kind of argument and I go downstairs to sleep away from him. The next morning I wake up and he's gotten over it and has even made me a rather elaborate breakfast involving sweet potatoes, lol. Later on in the day we're out in a public place and he has to use the restroom. It's odd because the bathroom is HUGE and I can sit in a lounge chair inside the restroom while he goes and uses one of the stalls. Then this African American woman with a little boy come out of a stall and he starts throwing some kind of hissy fit. His mom tells him to be quiet and to quit making such a scene because I'm sitting over there, but I just try to ignore them and pretend like it isn't really bothering me. Then the little boy starts hurling insults at me because I'm there, so I stand up and walk over to him and start scolding him for being cruel to his mother and to me and just really laying it on. Then his rather large father walks into the restroom and goes into one of the stalls. I go back to my chair to wait on my boyfriend, but he's disappeared. Because of what I had said to the little boy he went away and there wasn't anyway for him to come back - it was like he was taken from me by some outside force. I was just absolutely devastated...

#2
There's a small run down building, almost like you would see in a B-level horror movie, that looks like its from the 70's and its rather rundown. I can't tell if it's a prison or not, maybe just a jailhouse, and there are only a few guards as it's rather late at night. There are two or three people being held there and one of the guards is watching TV when something comes on about serial killers and people who have evaded the law but committed gruesome crimes. The guard realizes that the people that are being held in the building are some of the ones that have been mentioned on TV and he freaks out because I think they had originally been picked up on some smaller violation. He runs and tells the other guards, but apparently the prisoners have escaped because they are scared out of their minds and trying to leave the prison. The prisoners have run around and blocked off certain exits because now they want to play with the guards before they murder them. Its all rather terrifying to watch as it runs very much like a horror film with the guards running around and each getting caught and minorly brutalized before being brought back to the main center. I don't get to see the finale, as it were, but I'm kind of glad that I didn't.

#3
There was an African American couple, a husband and wife, who had been enlisted to take care of some sort of dire spiritual matter. There was a group of people with them, I think myself as well, and they were brought to a house in order to get rid of some sort of dark entity. I believe they were practitioners of some sort of Voodoo or Santeria tradition because that was the impression that I received. Anyway, the group of people were sitting up in a dimly lit attic room, at night, around a table while at the opposite end of the room was a bed that the couple were sleeping in. The group at the table were all discussing ways to combat this evil force while the couple were having sex. They were making noises, not too terribly loud but loud enough to where you would notice, yet the people around the table were not paying any attention. Then, the man making love to his wife kind of laughed a little and suddenly everyone stopped talking to turn around and look at them. The man or the woman, I can't really remember which, stopped all of a sudden and said something to the effect of how the people had not been paying any attention to the reality of what they were doing until something unrelated to what they were doing caught their ear and made them look. I know that it was a euphamism or metaphor for something else and not the act of sex itself literally, but I'm not entirely sure how to decipher it.

Later on in the same sequence this group of people were all outside in the front yard of my actual house when this long, black "smoke monster" (yes, reminiscent of the one from LOST, but smaller) came pouring out of my front door. They were trying to capture it in some sort of metal container and to banish it, but it was very strong and they were having a very difficult time wrangling it. And even though it looked very much like the "smoke monster", it also seemed to have a certain amount of physical mass as well. It was unusual to say the least.
......

That's all I can remember of my dreams, but last night as I was on the computer I saw a shadowy form pass by the doorwayto the kitchen on two separate occasions. I thought that it was my mother getting up to get a drink or something so I looked up both times but there was no one there. I don't really know how to explain it. It's not the first time that something like that has happened to me in this house, but it's been a very long time since it has. I'll just have to keep an eye out to see if there's any increase in activity.

Also, on the 15th my mother's fiancee passed away in the hospital. We all cared about him a great deal and there's still a great deal of sadness surrounding his passing. He was a really great guy and we all miss him very much. I just hope that he's in a good place now away from all the pain he was in the last few days. We all love you John :).

~♥~