Friday, June 26, 2009
I set out with intents to make this sort of a ranty post about certain aspects of my country's society, but I think I'll save that for a time when I'm less tired.
Last night I dreamt that I was in an apartment complex with my boyfriend. We were upstairs and in a kitchen that had a window view of the rest of this complex. The apartment was situated on the top of a steep hill with lots of concrete stairs leading up to its summit. Inside the apartment he and I were arguing about something. He hadn't told me about someone, some event, he had hidden something from me and I remember feeling betrayed and disgusted. I don't remember what it was though. So I look out the window and can see this girl around my age, with a leg on either railing on the concrete stairs, like skiing/climbing up towards our apartment. She wants to get inside, she wants something of mine, she's jealous/envious, she means me harm and I feel so much negativity towards her. I don't know who she is, but my boyfriend does. He does not care how I feel towards her and treats her presence as no big deal rather than the intrusion she represents. I go outside, I assume to confront her, when she pulls out a gun and shoots me in the head. I fall to the ground, but I do not die even though the bullet went through my head. I wake up and get back up incredibly pissed off. I can't really remember how that all ends, but I remember all the negative emotions I went through as it happened. I felt so betrayed and angry and I'm not even sure entirely what it was about.
An interesting note, however, is that it is now the second violent dream I've had within the past few nights and a second of which that the violence includes head trauma. The first one involved a friend of my sister's getting his head bashed in with a shovel in his sleep by a female dwarf. While it certainly sounds comical, the mental image was most assuredly not.
I'm left to contemplate on the meaning of these dreams. Considering the recurrent theme of violence, anger, and violated trusts it makes me think that I should be wary of the people in my life. I've had themes in my dreams before come back and make sense later. Hopefully this isn't one of them, and I'm certainly not jumping to conclusions, but I'm certainly going to keep my eyes peeled for any warning signs. Perhaps they mean nothing. Who knows. I wonder what tonight will bring me...
Elsewhere in life, I'm currently undertaking a project for a friend/co-worker of mine of compiling recipes of her mother's who passed recently. There are a lot of recipes to say the least :). It feels a bit overwhelming at the moment considering the sheer volume of work that is going to be involved and the pressure I feel to do this properly and in a creative way that is pleasing to my co-worker. I've gotten them all sorted into their various categories, as cook books often are, but I'm still pondering what sort of creative direction it should take. One step at a time I suppose.
...............
Musically I'm really excited over the release of Regina Spektor's new album. I don't yet have the cash to buy it, and I don't want to pirate it, so it might be a bit before such a luxury is feasible. I've heard 3 songs off the album, "Laughing With", "Eet", and "Blue Lips", and I really enjoy all of them. "Eet" is probably the most pop and radio/mainstreamm friendly of the three, but they're all fabulous and very much Regina's unique style. I'm also pleased about Manson's album "The High End of Low." EMDM was rather disappointing for me, but the new songs I've heard sound promising. It seems that more of his old self is back which is a refreshing change for the better I feel. His is another album that I'm planning on purchasing. And Placebo too of course :).
Oh, and a newer singer/songwriter that I'm really liking right now is Diane Birch. She's got a really unique voice and her songs and vocal stylings remind me a lot more of older 60's folk singers in a way - but still different :).
Well, I think that should do it for this evening. Until next time...
~♥~
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